Maybe I'm Still Just Peter

by Maggie Teachout

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ejteachout Unique storytelling, powerful vocals, winding lyrics, excellent musicality. Favorite track: Waltz For My Daughter.
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1.
Colorblind 02:50
Colorblind I didn’t mean for this to become what it is or what it will be One moment I was at your show, the next thing I know we’re in my backseat We know we should have stopped before too late but you were busy falling for me And they’ll ask me if I’ve had enough, but I learned from you, so I’ll say “hardly” And one two three let’s watch as the walls all come crashing down We’ll be falling, falling, falling but not as fast as we’re falling to the ground I think I might be colorblind Cause all these red flags are looking like green lights I think I might lose my mind But in the best way, in the nick of time I’m losing my mind Everything about you and I is just a classic cliched teenage drama trope Two damaged artists, one unharnessed, one a John Green manic pixie joke. Maybe we should have taken just a moment to stop and have a look around But I was busy losing myself in the rabbithole and you were busy following me down Chorus And maybe you’re leaving me on read But then your fingers brush against my neck And I say that I’m going to bed But then your hands are on my ribs again I can say that I’m at my end But I wake up with your songs in my head I know that everything is flashing red But when you kiss me I see green instead Chorus
2.
Lemonade Day 03:23
Lemonade Day I woke to find something Creeping up my walls It sounded like it was giving up I opened up my window and Watched it fly away I saw it being eaten by a little bird And I run, run, run, Oh I run, run, run, Yeah I run, run, run Far away It’s a lemonade kind of day The kind that makes you want to say Nothing matters anyways It’s a lemonade kind of day The kind that makes you want to stay Inside and outside at the same time Grab my hand and hold it there Give me the feeling that you care I don’t mind being lied to if it’s like this Your arm is heavy but I like the weight Of it against my shoulder It leads me to believe that I am someone Refrain + Chorus Refrain x3 Chorus x2
3.
Vinegar 04:25
Vinegar The honey on the table is for you It’s flavored with roses this time There’s butter and bread there, too But the water boiling on the stovetop is mine And if I take one glass what's stopping me from taking two If you make me lose control again, what will I do? The world slips down my throat It's easy, easy, easy The record that you think you broke It’s crazy, crazy, crazy No vinegar will save me, No vinegar will save me now No vinegar will save me now If you look into my smile, do you see A face as fragile as sugar Or do you see my tongue all coated in greed And the ice that runs down my spine like silver? And if I take one drag what’s stopping me from taking two If you make me lose control again, what will I do? Chorus And trust me, I want to tell you the truth But I can’t break this lie, this fast, this soon Your fingers trace my sides and I can’t tell orange from blue Your fingers trace my stomach and I fall back into you
4.
Make A Sound 05:03
Make a Sound She packed a bag Her car was painted blue She left around the back Her friend went with her too They drove the open road, Looking for nothing to do The streetlights all were fireflies Electric ingenues And out there, there’s two dresses on the ground And now there’s only owls to make a sound Makes a sound They drove for hours, Fighting sleep and ambiguity And every so often, praised the radio over the tv They stay for weeks at a time Living from sun to sun They drink cactus juice and store the rain And then they’re back on the run BRIDGE It was a cold night, a clear night, in July They saw the world in each other’s eyes They grasped each other's hands, and dissolved into the sky They became the trees, the stars, the ground, leaving everything behind CHORUS
5.
Fire at the Hem Take your socks off You always liked the chaos We’re all monsters here Only you’ve got broken glass bottles in your hair I think that we both fell The moment I heard your name Once upon a time my hand was held Once upon a time we were okay Sometimes I fall in love with you But I know you’re not real Sometimes I fall in love with you All over again Sometimes I catch a glimpse of you Coming through my window With the taste of gasoline on your tongue And fire at the hem If time was kind to us Maybe you wouldn’t use it all at once You took a day trip And I got the night shift I stumbled, so you decided I didn’t need the ground If the door is left open You’re either in or you’re out Chorus Don’t bury me underground, don’t bury me at all Burn me all to ashes, and the sea is where I’ll go Chorus
6.
Waitress 04:42
Waitress Black and white water take me away Feathers made of paper burn in the day Color-shifting eyelids open and close Scratched out bits of melodies nobody knows I could be a waitress I could be an astronaut I could be a waitress I could be an astronaut I’ll be a waitress in some big city far away Get myself a black dress and find somewhere to play All of these dreams and nowhere to go I’ll make minimum wage, trying to not let my age show I could be a waitress I could be an astronaut I could be a waitress I could be an astronaut I don’t know what I want, I know what I’m good at If I were an astronaut, I wouldn’t have to look at it If I were on Wall Street, at least I’d be busy If I were across the sea, would you still come visit me I could be a waitress I could be an astronaut I could be a waitress I could be an astronaut I’ll be a waitress I’ll be a waitress I’ll be a waitress I’ll be a waitress I’ll be a waitress I’ll be a waitress I’ll be a waitress I’ll be a waitress
7.
Indie Movie Romance I never put too much faith into astrology But I’m surprised by how similar we both are to our signs I never put too much faith into anything But I’m tired of seeing the world through cynical eyes Late at night we’ll go out walking Or drive my car with all the windows down At this point the only thing missing Is a yellow filter and a mental breakdown This is an indie movie romance So I wrote an indie movie song Life is just one long performance Art piece nothing can go wrong This is an indie movie romance So I wrote an indie movie song Let’s make a bunch of empty promises And not focus on what will go wrong I write songs up in my bedroom I might as well record on a cassette You write lyrics in your backyard As smoke curls from your cigarette Let’s go camping by the ocean Our sweaters have holes and our poles are bent We’ll wake up to the sound of water And the tide will sweep away our tent Chorus And when the bathroom floor is the only place that you can go You can call me up on an old rotary phone I’ll hold your hand as we watch the single-firework show Maybe nobody loves us, but maybe nobody knows Chorus
8.
Waltz for my Daughter Someday Your face Will be covered in tear streaks and tan lines Someday Your pain Will be mine Someday I’ll wake And you’ll have run away And I’ll stay And I’ll wait For your letters Because no daughter of mine Will ever let anyone say that she’s worthless And no daughter of mine Will stay down Instead of letting you kick my door in If I were my daughter, what would I say to myself? I will let you be angry at me And be angry at you I will let you run far away If you phone once a day I will never let you lose yourself to someone who doesn’t care I will never stop loving you Because no daughter of mine Will ever let anyone say that she’s worthless And no daughter of mine Will stay down Instead of letting you kick my door in If I were my daughter, what would I say to myself? Parents’ words Someday Your face Will be covered in tear streaks and tan lines Someday all of your pain will be mine Someday I’ll wake And you’ll have run away And I’ll stay And I’ll wait For your letters Because no daughter of mine Will ever let anyone say that she’s worthless And no daughter of mine Will stay down Instead of letting you kick my door in If I were my daughter, what would I say to myself? If I were my daughter, what would I say to myself?
9.
Cosmos 03:58
Cosmos I can only assume the stars are growing shy Every night I’ve been out walking, and they seem to only get dimmer with time I need to remind them they’re the only thing worth losing sleep by In the heart of all our twisted galaxies, lay the cosmos’ eyes. And if you were to hold me tight enough To compress my density We could melt together Into a point of singularity We are not the center of the universe that we know But in the moment between your in and exhale, you could have had me fooled. And if I travelled away from the planet of ours until it was just a dot of pale blue I’d trace the path of the stars until there was a constellation of a map back to you And if you were to hold me tight enough To compress my density We could melt together Into a point of singularity Are you afraid of what we do not know about the stars Or do your insecurities lay within what we are? We can only see what fate will let us if the clouds manage to part So when we’re held up to our universe, we can see we’re no more significant than our wars But if you hold me tight enough To compress my density We could melt together Into a point of singularity
10.
Heart of the Artist Every song I write about you is a little bit of a diss track Little bit of a inside abstract concept, wait for the step back, hit that Pavements chasing concrete cyclones listening to a deep-sea underneath free speech reach deep into the lip lock facts slap the glass to matte Every song I write about you Is a little bit untrue Every song I write about you I write about me And I think that makes me easy I don’t know if I can separate the heart from the artist Keeping everything clean is always the hardest part Unlike love this has no hatred, no fear, no sacrifice But it comes with people, and we couldn’t help ourselves and now I pay the price Every step in your direction leads to a bit of missed connection Searching craigslist pages for the main stage attraction for the wait to end In the hallways in the backyard dragging back one cat and two handfuls of cheap perfume scoured through the earth scars on my feet and hands in the restroom Every step towards you Is a trap for me to fall into Every steps towards you is towards the beast that fuels The fire that allows me to move Chorus Maybe getting angry is easy but I’m not to admit defeat three meters in the air, I’m not going anywhere, rest assured there’s charismatic china plates just waiting to break, In the corners of the warehouse where I keep my spinning cobweb rocking chair Take a look in every nook and cranny of my twisted psyche there’s a space in the corner perfect for a deformed former table turner there Chorus
11.
Motherfucker 03:38
Motherfucker Late at night you can find me surrounded by all of my simple ink and pen Drawings sinking, hiding, screaming, waiting to be opened again Like wounds that fester, blister, wonder, hope and cry and make me reach my end Just one more, just one more, just one more, is it done yet, is it done yet Like the moon, I’m waning, waxing, twisting, in and out of sleep, out of sleep and bed Like the bruises that remain on my legs and my fingertips for weeks on end All these images attack my mind, get them out, out of my head Then I want them back, please take me back, back to that place again Art is a fickle lover It makes me wish my happiness away Art is a motherfucker It smacks me harder so I beg it to stay Art is a fickle lover It’s not my choice to crave this kind of pain If my skin was paper You’d be more worried when I buy my x-acto blades I’ve heard it said that the devil lives in the fiddle, that the devil lives in the free It slams me up against the wall, hand around my throat, whispers in a sweet melody “Sorry if this isn’t the narrative that you expect, expected outta me It’s not my fault that you were made, that you were made to find me so pretty “And you can leave, try to leave, go and leave, but you know you’ll always be back Cause no one loves you like I love you, without me no one loves you at all that’s just a fact I make the best parts of you, alone what in the world would you have? You know that without me your personality would just slip through the cracks.” Chorus And it hits me all at once sometimes And addiction that I try to fight It’s not fair; I’m not the violent kind But my skin begs to differ when you hold it to the light Art is a fickle lover It makes me wish my happiness away Art is a motherfucker It smacks me harder so I beg it to stay Art is a fickle lover Don’t ask me why I feel this way Art is a motherfucker It forgives my sins only after I’ve pleaded for pain Art is a fickle lover Art is a mothefucker Art is my best abuser Art throws my ugly on a page Art is a fickle lover
12.
Still Standing The devil doesn’t live in the wasteland The devil lives in the mirror She lives in the curve of my shoulder In the hollow of my collarbone, right next to my ear The devil doesn’t live in the wasteland The devil lives right here In the space between my shoulder blades She fills me with irrational fear I want to see the sun through my fingers When I press them together, I want to see the light I don’t want to leave a shadow When I’m standing, I’d rather take flight She comes sometimes without a warning Sometimes she leaves a lasting mark She stays in my stomach and throws my voice away If you can see my rib cage you can see my heart She comes sometimes without a warning Sometimes she leaves a calling card Do you want to twist my words again Do you want to mutilate my art Chorus If you’re really my best friend Like you say you are Why is it when you come around Everything gets harder If you’re really my lover As you say you are Why is it that I never feel beautiful When I’m in your arms Chorus
13.
Odysseus 02:58
Odysseus The rain sounds like silver It’ll carry me down to the river When you’re next to me, I feel you shiver In my bloodstream runs all my willpower I know it took a while for me to notice but Now I’m waiting for you to show us all You have the drive, the passion and the focus It’s ironic, don’t you think, that you’re my Odysseus Do you like having a secret? How long do you want to keep it? Is there something I should be seeing? When I look at your face, I can’t read it For some time now it’s felt like I’ve just floated Like I’m twisted up inside someone’s hypnosis But your words run through my head like locomotives It’s ironic, don’t you think, that you’re my Odysseus Do you feel, often, like everything’s hopeless? Like you’re all alone with nobody that you can trust If nothing else, at least I want you to know this I’m happy that you’re my Odysseus

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released January 11, 2019

© 2018 Maggie Teachout

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Green Monkey Records Olympia, Washington

Northwest Underground Rock 1980-til the End of Time

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