Songs To Annoy Small Children

by Tom Dyer

  • Streaming + Download

    Includes high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more. Paying supporters also get unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app.

      name your price


  • Buy CDr w/ four panel digipak $9.99



Video link for "There’s A Great Glowing Gasbag In The Sky, It's Called The Sun (Official Music Video)";

Songs To Annoy Small Children is the latest bit of nonsense from the indefatigable Tom Dyer. This project began life in 1995 without a long-range plan. These were simple, made-up songs to be sung to his long-suffering children. The first was Bathtub Plug, an ode to a replacement plug in a claw foot bathtub. There were five songs total. Three were recorded, including the embarrassing Dyer Family Song. In December 2016, Dyer decided to complete the song cycle and recorded, in two days, the final two (including the masterpiece There’s A Great Glowing Gasbag In The Sky, It’s Called The Sun) plus a new concluding composition, They’re Old.

To add depth and muscle to this remarkable and irreverent artifact, two additional works are being presented herein.

First, are the Pirate Songs of Cap’n Kat and the SS Mediocrity. Recorded in 2005 at the zenith of the Johnny Depp pirate mania, these songs a) reflect on health issues encountered by knaves on the high seas and b) inventory the means needed for career success. The songs were composed and performed by Kat and Ben Dyer, who have most recently released material as The Dyer Spawn on GMR’s 2016 Xmas album.

Second, we have five songs by Susan Dyer, composed for and performed as part of the pantomime Aladdin & His Magic Lamp in 2002. This cast recording exists because Tom was on the East Coast and could not attend the play. He retained audio engineers to do a live studio recording of the entire performance. These were Ms. Dyer’s first featured compositions; she doubles as a performer in the role of Queen Dragona.


released January 17, 2017

All songs written, recorded and performed by Tom Dyer.

Songs 1-5 written 1995/98, song 6 written December 2016.

Bathtub Plug, She’s Pullin’ The Head Off The Dog and The Dyer Family Song were recorded near the turn of the century. The others were recorded December 2016.

Cap’n Kat and the SS Mediocrity
Written and performed by Kat (Vox) and Ben Dyer (Gtr) as a Christmas present to their dad.

Recorded by Tom Dyer on December 26, 2005.

Songs from Aladdin & His Magic Lamp
Songs written by Susan Dyer.

Play perfomed by The Fremont Players:
Susan Dyer – Queen Dragona; Michelle Moore – Aladdin; Kay McKinnis – Princess Paprika; Macque DaVís – Abanazaar; Terry Robb – King Timerous Rex; Simon Neale – Introduction.

The Jewels of The Nile:
Fred Hawkinson and John Borite -Trombone;
Ted Lockery – Cornet; Pam MacRae – Clarinet; Alan Friedman – Percussion.

Recorded by Jay Follette and Kevin Bressler at AIS in 2002.

Executive Producer – Tom Dyer.

Spoken introductions by Douglas Willott.

Front cover photo of Ben and Kate Dyer by JoAnn Dyer 1995.
Inside photo of Ben Dyer by Vicki Dyer 2005.

All songs ℗ Half The World Publishing © 2017 Green Monkey Records.

Produced & mastered by Tom Dyer. Cover design too.

Hampton was the dog.



all rights reserved


Green Monkey Records Seattle, Washington

Underground Seattle Rock 1980-2021
Buy no other brand.

contact / help

Contact Green Monkey Records

Streaming and
Download help

Redeem code